Who are we, really?

Sometimes I'm forced to wonder the nature I abide, the face I show to the world, the words I speak out loud and the thoughts I proclaim reflect my soul, are real or influenced by the magnetism that temporarily attracts me. 

Cool girl, a commonly used phrase, I think is a definition of an ideal girl, one we all strive to be and one that every guy tries to impress. But I wonder, if I'm anywhere close to that, why do I see the flip side girls having a much more fulfilling bond with the others? Not that I don't have what I wanted, I just feel a little let down when I tend to think how my attitude has shifted over time like a pendulum from one failed relationship to another, reflecting the kind of person that would literally chop off the wings of their freedom to one that forced them to flap their wings and fly away to fulfil their dreams. 

Nag nag nag. 

Is nagging somewhere acceptable, especially to someone who could almost cage you in a room embodied of his existence to shield you from any source that could snatch you away from him? If that's so not who I was, then why today when I hear about such hypocrisy I see a nagging soul engulfed in her idea of insecurities ruling his bubble world? 

If that was a bad example, let me go another page back when the pendulum was on another side. 

If being okay, was not okay but you wanted to look okay even when that other person used your carefree attitude to the wrong limits, a certain sense of insecurity that crept in seemed genuine, I suppose? 

If today I reflect back to these two opposite roles I played, I wonder how the play turned out to be. Clearly, these weren't a true picture of who I really am, or was it? Is it really possible to possess opposite traits within oneself, whatever disposition they might create? 

If it's true that life is a play and we are basically playing a different rule to suit our current whims and fancies, then it can be correctly said that we are the actors of our fate. But how can karma come into play, when we are well equipped to switch from one face to another, masking our innermost thoughts in the most beautiful way, to panoply a changed version of ourselves to the next victim of our twisted revelations. 

In this game we play, do you think we lose ourselves, unable to chalk out the path of destiny we embarked on and our notions of the real us?