Time. It has the power to heal, break, crush, revive, hope and change. It opens up the frontiers to choices of the path we'll lead, to make us what we should be and what we are. But the alternative we accept is an individual's decision, with no assistance from whomsoever. Sometimes going down the memory lane, we wish to have made some decisions differently, or made none at all. Contrary to belief, I think choices are easy to make, but memories are impossible to erase. Every choice comes with a consequence, which we realize in the least bits, but haunts our present like a parasite engulfing on each step already taken. It is rightly said that we must not live in our past, for its gone, and also not make speculations about the future, but try to keep our feet on the present and learn to accept it. However, I ask you, isn't every bit of you a reflection of your past? Would you have got here without making all those decisions that you did? What would it have been like had you changed your answer, or well, not answered at all?
Eight months, wow this is going incredibly well, too well actually, for all I expected, thought Nandini. She was happy, for having the perfect job, perfect home, and the perfect guy. What more would a girl just having stepped out in the real world want out of her normal routine life? It was as if everything was falling back in place. But still she had an intuition, that something was going terribly wrong. The problem was not able to find the problem, yet feeling so hollow inside. Like someone was picking out the pieces from her life's jigsaw puzzle, one by one with the ticking of clock. She wanted to snatch back all those moments, which were slipping out, no matter which side she turned to or which road she decided to take. Her priorities had deluged her into darkness of the degree, that she started falling behind the opacity of a wall, afraid to let anyone see the softness of her heart and her overpowering emotions. Anyone but him. He helped break through those stern pieces of bricks, and made her believe that he'll not leave. He pestered her mind with the thought that people will disappoint you, leave, and never turn back, but some will stay, no matter how difficult the road chosen gets, because they are destined to. For once in forever, she let go of her fears, showing her real self, not afraid of the consequences that awaited her, to twist it all into a ball of entangled difficulties, impossible to find a way out of.
But why were all lessons that she implemented on him hopeless conclusions drawn out of failures from what she grasped out of bungles in clutching on to Aryan? Was life really this perfect, or was she just pretending of having understood every inch of pain she carried that buried her deeper in the ground with every step she took to embrace the feeling of letting go? She didn't understand her thoughts, emotions, or well, herself. How could she expect to drop the veil to another soul, when she couldn't decipher her own self. She knew she had let go of the past, but was she in a state of mind to handle this level of commitment, which was eventually turning into slow poison, capturing her will, mind and body to the insecurities and fears of his. Was it fair? She didn't give it a thought, and acted naive to just go with the flow. How terrible was the idea to act on your instincts for a change, than a chalked out careful plan? How unrealistic did the thought of acting her own age and seize things as they appear seem? Well, for once she implemented rationality and insanity in a perfect blend, which she thought would do wonders, and she was right. For how long, well, that was a different story.
She realized she cared too much, and pretty much about every intrinsic detail in the world. This included the ones who mattered, the ones who didn't, and the ones that once did. But he had a different story to look forward to. The failures of his epic love with Anahita, brought him to a stand still, letting go in the belief of something that could really last. She impaired his thoughts, attitude and life altogether. His commitment towards Nandini was nothing but a step towards change from the painful memories of the past. How much he loved her, or if he loved her at all, was an answer he himself searched for. She was the astonishing female version of him, making him believe that this was right path to have taken, unaware of his detachment that would follow with every step he took on this new road. Unaware of the melancholy of hearts that would soon follow, they held on to the idea of each other, the grip of which started to abscond with every breathe taken. The pretence couldn't last forever, the cracks in the foundation were too severe, however beautiful the illusion seemed to be, it had to come to an "unexpected" halt.
That is the thing about humans. Perceptions. The attitude which forces an individual to believe in the action and consequences of ones right and wrong. We fail to access the weight of the past realities that the other person is carrying, affecting their decisions, and in turn changing our stars. We are told to not judge a person on their defeats, but hang around to support them in future endeavours. But can we tell if this is all going to turn out in a fruitful exercise? How can we alter the course of our present, when it is determined by the vivacity of the counterpart? Does this person you put all your effort and thoughts into, consider you even remotely important enough to give away a pebble of thought or piece of heart, to make it last? Or is this just a selfish, cruel and harsh world, where you and I are just two bubbles, waiting to push the other one down and strive to go a little higher? If that's the case, why don't we realize that eventually the bubble will succumb to the pull of karma, and burst?
The multitudinous thoughts drowned her in a sea of pensive despair, as she tried to fight back and create a new bubble of hopes, expectations and realities to hold on to in the fate that she was creating, as she let him go...
Eight months, wow this is going incredibly well, too well actually, for all I expected, thought Nandini. She was happy, for having the perfect job, perfect home, and the perfect guy. What more would a girl just having stepped out in the real world want out of her normal routine life? It was as if everything was falling back in place. But still she had an intuition, that something was going terribly wrong. The problem was not able to find the problem, yet feeling so hollow inside. Like someone was picking out the pieces from her life's jigsaw puzzle, one by one with the ticking of clock. She wanted to snatch back all those moments, which were slipping out, no matter which side she turned to or which road she decided to take. Her priorities had deluged her into darkness of the degree, that she started falling behind the opacity of a wall, afraid to let anyone see the softness of her heart and her overpowering emotions. Anyone but him. He helped break through those stern pieces of bricks, and made her believe that he'll not leave. He pestered her mind with the thought that people will disappoint you, leave, and never turn back, but some will stay, no matter how difficult the road chosen gets, because they are destined to. For once in forever, she let go of her fears, showing her real self, not afraid of the consequences that awaited her, to twist it all into a ball of entangled difficulties, impossible to find a way out of.
But why were all lessons that she implemented on him hopeless conclusions drawn out of failures from what she grasped out of bungles in clutching on to Aryan? Was life really this perfect, or was she just pretending of having understood every inch of pain she carried that buried her deeper in the ground with every step she took to embrace the feeling of letting go? She didn't understand her thoughts, emotions, or well, herself. How could she expect to drop the veil to another soul, when she couldn't decipher her own self. She knew she had let go of the past, but was she in a state of mind to handle this level of commitment, which was eventually turning into slow poison, capturing her will, mind and body to the insecurities and fears of his. Was it fair? She didn't give it a thought, and acted naive to just go with the flow. How terrible was the idea to act on your instincts for a change, than a chalked out careful plan? How unrealistic did the thought of acting her own age and seize things as they appear seem? Well, for once she implemented rationality and insanity in a perfect blend, which she thought would do wonders, and she was right. For how long, well, that was a different story.
She realized she cared too much, and pretty much about every intrinsic detail in the world. This included the ones who mattered, the ones who didn't, and the ones that once did. But he had a different story to look forward to. The failures of his epic love with Anahita, brought him to a stand still, letting go in the belief of something that could really last. She impaired his thoughts, attitude and life altogether. His commitment towards Nandini was nothing but a step towards change from the painful memories of the past. How much he loved her, or if he loved her at all, was an answer he himself searched for. She was the astonishing female version of him, making him believe that this was right path to have taken, unaware of his detachment that would follow with every step he took on this new road. Unaware of the melancholy of hearts that would soon follow, they held on to the idea of each other, the grip of which started to abscond with every breathe taken. The pretence couldn't last forever, the cracks in the foundation were too severe, however beautiful the illusion seemed to be, it had to come to an "unexpected" halt.
That is the thing about humans. Perceptions. The attitude which forces an individual to believe in the action and consequences of ones right and wrong. We fail to access the weight of the past realities that the other person is carrying, affecting their decisions, and in turn changing our stars. We are told to not judge a person on their defeats, but hang around to support them in future endeavours. But can we tell if this is all going to turn out in a fruitful exercise? How can we alter the course of our present, when it is determined by the vivacity of the counterpart? Does this person you put all your effort and thoughts into, consider you even remotely important enough to give away a pebble of thought or piece of heart, to make it last? Or is this just a selfish, cruel and harsh world, where you and I are just two bubbles, waiting to push the other one down and strive to go a little higher? If that's the case, why don't we realize that eventually the bubble will succumb to the pull of karma, and burst?
The multitudinous thoughts drowned her in a sea of pensive despair, as she tried to fight back and create a new bubble of hopes, expectations and realities to hold on to in the fate that she was creating, as she let him go...
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