Dejavu

Still stuck in the time when we called it love, but even the sun sets in paradise...

Its funny how situations can take such a toll in a matter of a month. What seemed like an unrealistic possibility, comes crashing onto you as today's harsh reality. Can you do anything about it? Umm, i guess not...but its better to just vent out these feelings by writing or something...

So he asked me he needed approval. He trusts me more than himself over the choices he will make, knowing how bad im at choosing, he doesn't care, for he loves unconditionally. Im more than glad to help him make this decision, but im afraid that it might all end up to be like it was for me...still i don't back out, for i love him, more than a stupid brother (if he was), crazy best friend (that we've always been), or even a role model or whatever I'd say would be an understatement. I wish every guy was as caring, pure and kind hearted as he is, but as i say such people seem to be the endangered species, who turn out to be either your brother or best friend.

He smiles like a retard seeing that one sweet text from her, ahh, we the stupid loving people. How adorable he looks with that childish grin, and that's when i realize how jealous im of the same. I was like that, a few months back, but darn, what happened?!
I ask him to fix me, but i guess nobody can. The one who broke me is happy in another world, and here i am cleaning up the shattered pieces of us lying on the ground.

"Its going to be a tough ride. But you deserve better."
You're very right there my friend, but can you define better in the context of your speech and my condition?

So i say- " its better to be rejected than be treated as a second option." I know i make sense there, but how do i convince myself to believe this simple statement?

He calls me innocent, and begs me to become a little selfish. Maybe i am. But is this the price i pay for being selfless, or umm, just...me?

We exchange hugs and bid goodbye for both of us are en routed to journeys in different directions. Like literally. Right after which i find myself standing near the same platform i was a month ago. The feeling of not letting go surmounts my head. The same emotions i felt then, when i watched you leave. The announcement rings over my ears and buzzes me back to reality shouting out loud that its all over. One month, and nothing's the same. Why? I wish i could answer that...

Will it ever be the same again?
Who knows, but one thing is for sure, the innocence is gone...